The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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