She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
