Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Randomize
