I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
