sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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