My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize