What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
