The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize