I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
