you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
