talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
