Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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