After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
