worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
