Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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