Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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