If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
