I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
