I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
