Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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