Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize