so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
