I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
