Dual....:-)
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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