No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
