Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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