i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
