Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I haven't been this sober since birth.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
