whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
