I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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