eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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