I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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