The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Girls should come with a carfax report
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
