Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
