Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
