can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
