Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
