I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
