If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
