Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
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