I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
