soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
