I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
