I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
