didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
