Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
