Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
