Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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