okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
