She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
