I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
