im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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