Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
