It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
