Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
