i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Randomize
