i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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