how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Randomize
