hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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