i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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